3 Bits of B.S.

Problems come in threes. So does bullshit. Every now and again I'll post that bullshit here. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's tragic. I always feel better shouting about it, though.
Mar 10
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3 Lies You Tell Your Medical Professionals

  1. Flossing? Every day.
  2. Drinking? Never.
  3. Give me the antibiotics. I’ll start taking them in two days if I don’t feel better.
Mar 06
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3 Ridiculous Adjectives ABC uses to describe Stars who are Dancing

  1. Hotter (Adam Carolla)
  2. Steamier (Penn Gilette)
  3. Sexier (Steve Gutenberg)
Feb 28
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3 Things You Might Think While Saying "I'm Sorry"

  1. I’m sorry. (rarely)
  2. I’m prepared to say anything to get you to quit bitching.
  3. You sign my paycheck, so I’ll kiss whatever you wish.
Jan 29
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3 Things I Hear That Are Rarely True

  1. “I was just finishing writing that proposal, but my printer died. Can I bring it to you tomorrow?”
  2. “My favorite part of your performance was your enthusiasm.”
  3. “Really, it’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen.”
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3 Things I Say That Are Rarely True

  1. “I gotta go. The kids are setting fire to the cat, and he always gets mad when they try that.”
  2. “I had a chance to tour with Sprinsteen, but I wanted to spend more time with my family.”
  3. “I’m not a fan of big breasts. I think yours are the perfect size.”
Dec 07
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3 Sh*tty Things about Vista (not that there aren't more...)

  1. Holy shit! Could this thing run ANY slower? I can clean my apartment waiting for it to start up!
  2. Son of a bitch! How many of my favorite apps don’t run on Vista? Could Microsoft make it any more imposible to develop for the platform? WHo wants to pay a small fortune to make their software “Vista Certified?”
  3. Damn it! iTunes crashes every DAY? What the hell? Well, I suppose it’s not a big deal, because NO ONE F***ING USES ITUNES!!!!! (that’s sarcasm, BTW)
Nov 05
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3 Random Thoughts on Head Lice

  1. Most children don’t EARN head lice- they are unfortunate victims of classmates.
  2. Shaving the head sounded like the best option for prevention- my daughter disagreed.
  3. If the nurse at school needs to use a magnifier with a special flourescent attached to see them, how am I supposed to check for them AT HOME?
Aug 07
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3 Embarrasing Selections From My iTunes

  1. The SpongeBob SquarePants Theme
  2. Expanded Lovemaking: Sex, Love, and Consciousness podcast
  3. “A Whole New World”, as performed by Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey
Jul 12
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3 Things To Remember When Naming Your Child

  1. No matter how you try, a rotten nickname or joke can made about ANY name.
  2. If there are four people named “Richard” in your immediate family, MAYBE it’s time to stray from the pack.
  3. Not enough people name their kids “Snuffy” anymore. Be a trendsetter.
Jul 04
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3 Reasons to Change Jobs

  1. There’s a period of time in between jobs where the terror allows you to fully appreciate what you had before, and drives you to seek it again.
  2. The marvelous effect it has on your relationship with your spouse.
  3. The emptiness in the pit of your stomach is a constant reminder that yo are alive.

Sorry. Not too funny. Just real today.