3 Bits of B.S.

3 Things To Remember When Naming Your Child

1. No matter how you try, a rotten nickname or joke can made about ANY name.
2. If there are four people named “Richard” in your immediate family, MAYBE it’s time to stray from the pack.
3. Not enough people name their kids “Snuffy” anymore. Be a trendsetter.
   

3 Reasons to Change Jobs

1. There’s a period of time in between jobs where the terror allows you to fully appreciate what you had before, and drives you to seek it again.
2. The marvelous effect it has on your relationship with your spouse.
3. The emptiness in the pit of your stomach is a constant reminder that yo are alive.

3 Reasons to Drive Less

1. You drive a LeBaron.
2. You don’t know how to pump your own gas, and besides it’s too expensive.
3. You’re friggin’ Paris Hilton, who has more money than God AND a suspended license. GET A DRIVER AND STAY OUT OF JAIL IF YOU DON”T WANT TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED ON THE COMMODE!

I feel better now.

P.S. CNN? We no longer give a shit. 

3 Things You Don't Want to Hear at Your Evaluation

1. “Well, the ‘sitting in my lap’ thing was cute for a few days.”
2. “Right Guard. I use it all the time.”
3. “I’d prefer it if you would stop looking at AND talking about what you euphemistically call my ‘golden bozos.’”

3 Lunchtime Conversation Stoppers

1. “I was so happy when the Health Department said this place could open up again.”
2. “Oh no… our waiter is that guy I had the ugly breakup with last year.”
3. “Have you ever seen a sore ooze like this before?”

3 Things MapleMama Said Today Instead Of "No"

1. “I’m not sure that’s a wise use of our resources.”
2. “That’s really not in my purview, but I’ll see what I can do.”
3. “Seriously? *sigh* OK.”

3 Reasons Why Team Podcasting Is Better Than Solo Podcasting

1. You have somewhere to share the work.
2. You have someone to check your spelling and syntax.
3. You can say with certainity that you now know at least TWO people listen. You hope.

3 Things I Said Today instead of "No!"

1. “Gee, that would be really hard for me to do.”
2. “Sure, I guess I could look it over.”
3. “Yeah, I’ll take care of that.”
   

3 Positive Outcomes of Hosting A Dinner Party for Family

1. Someone else brings the wine, and they are not nearly as cheap as I am.
2. Someone else brings the dessert, and it’s never quite as enticing as what I would bring.
3. When the whole event is over, you get the best nights sleep you’ve ever had. Of course, sometimes it’s not on the same night, but a few nights later.
   

3 Advantages of Broken Voicemail

1. You never get messages from telemarketers.
2. You have an excuse for those family members you hate, but have to talk to anyway. (“My voicemail was down!”)
   
3. You can easily dodge all those pesky bill collectors!